I was promised hot firemen
So, earthquake drill is over.
I got quite excited to see the firemen this morning. You know how everyone gets all excited cause "firemen" are coming, and then it turns out to be balding hefty ones? Not this time. ALL HOT. Like my own personal calendar....with only 8 months.
Anyhow, I'm all set to go down and play the victim. I'm in a pretty remote place in the school, but I figure, how long can it take them to sweep the school?
Well, had I really sustained all the fake injuries, I would have been a corpse by the time they brought me out. A cute, still warm corpse, but dead nonetheless.
THey had given me signs to place around my body, detailing my condition. One said : semi-conscious. Then: Compound fracture left humerus. Then: swelling abdomen (I knew I shouldn't have had all that salt for lunch.....or those internal injuries I suppose).
I made my own sign to hang next to it. It said "slightly crazy, extremely high maintenance."
Anyway, I brought a magazine along with me, because when you're suffering from internal bleeding, it's nice to have some fluff reading to take your mind off of it.
I've been lying there for about 20 minutes when I hear someone in the cafeteria open a pop. Hello? I'm in a life or death situation and you're having a Dr Pepper? Turns out, someone just forgot to tell the vending machine repair man that the school usually isn't covered in yellow tape with desks knocked all over the hallways.
Anyway, after about an HOUR of lying on the freezing cold floor, the village people came to save me. Oh no, wait, that's some of my coworkers with construction vests and hats. My mistake.
They read the signs and decided what to do with me. They started to stabilize my leg until I coughed "humerus is in my arm" *cough*.
One of the guys radioed out my injuries and then said they were going to bring me out on the stretcher, and that it would probably take four people to carry me. Umm..yeah, I'm like 115-120lbs. Good thing they didn't choose a bigger staff member, or we would have had to get the grade 8 class to help.
After I heard that, semi-conscious me yelled "HEY!". One of the other guys pretended to radio "first aid attendant down with kick to the groin."
Ok, and after all this? The firefighters were CALLED AWAY to a fire. PRIORITIES PEOPLE??????? I lie on the cold floor with nothing but visions of being rescued by hot firemen, and I get NOTHING? Man, that's the last time *I* suffer internal injuries in an earthquake.
I got quite excited to see the firemen this morning. You know how everyone gets all excited cause "firemen" are coming, and then it turns out to be balding hefty ones? Not this time. ALL HOT. Like my own personal calendar....with only 8 months.
Anyhow, I'm all set to go down and play the victim. I'm in a pretty remote place in the school, but I figure, how long can it take them to sweep the school?
Well, had I really sustained all the fake injuries, I would have been a corpse by the time they brought me out. A cute, still warm corpse, but dead nonetheless.
THey had given me signs to place around my body, detailing my condition. One said : semi-conscious. Then: Compound fracture left humerus. Then: swelling abdomen (I knew I shouldn't have had all that salt for lunch.....or those internal injuries I suppose).
I made my own sign to hang next to it. It said "slightly crazy, extremely high maintenance."
Anyway, I brought a magazine along with me, because when you're suffering from internal bleeding, it's nice to have some fluff reading to take your mind off of it.
I've been lying there for about 20 minutes when I hear someone in the cafeteria open a pop. Hello? I'm in a life or death situation and you're having a Dr Pepper? Turns out, someone just forgot to tell the vending machine repair man that the school usually isn't covered in yellow tape with desks knocked all over the hallways.
Anyway, after about an HOUR of lying on the freezing cold floor, the village people came to save me. Oh no, wait, that's some of my coworkers with construction vests and hats. My mistake.
They read the signs and decided what to do with me. They started to stabilize my leg until I coughed "humerus is in my arm" *cough*.
One of the guys radioed out my injuries and then said they were going to bring me out on the stretcher, and that it would probably take four people to carry me. Umm..yeah, I'm like 115-120lbs. Good thing they didn't choose a bigger staff member, or we would have had to get the grade 8 class to help.
After I heard that, semi-conscious me yelled "HEY!". One of the other guys pretended to radio "first aid attendant down with kick to the groin."
Ok, and after all this? The firefighters were CALLED AWAY to a fire. PRIORITIES PEOPLE??????? I lie on the cold floor with nothing but visions of being rescued by hot firemen, and I get NOTHING? Man, that's the last time *I* suffer internal injuries in an earthquake.
posted by Daisie @ 12:49 PM
1 Comments:
At 3:02 PM,
Katie said…
Buahaha. Poor Daisie, no hot firemen!
I recently went on a County tour which included a tour around the firehall, and my co-worker and I were torn between which "hot" fireman we wanted to follow around. They were sooooo yummy. I seriously could not stop salivating. The one I "picked" to follow even sort of touched my butt trying to prevent me from falling out of the firetruck as I attempted to climb inside wearing cute heels. Hah.
Maybe next time!
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