The Devil Will Drag You Under

Oh lord. Where to start?

Before we even hit the top of the show, about ten minutes before the house opened, we're still running around like idiots trying to get the on-stage monitors to work. For those who aren't familiar, monitors allow the cast on stage to hear the music. Without monitors, they're always off the music, and it becomes a rather large and rather painful trainwreck.


We get that issue solved. Go and have a pep talk with the cast. I always invite questions at the end. These questions somehow turned into comments. Perhaps these kids don't really understand "2 minutes till places". We don't really have the time for comments like:

"In Scene 7, where the missionaries are coming on, three people on stage left need to turn .5 of a degree to facilitate my entrance."

or

(from snarky girl with a God complex --use a pissed off, holier than thou tone to read this) "Guys......we HAVE to remember to walk quietly back stage. Do NOT make a lot of noise. Even if you think you're not making a lot of noise, you ARE."

Ok, actually a fair comment, but man kiddo, people skills need work. Do your peers really like you?

But once the ball started rolling, every kid had a directorial comment to make. Put a stop to that pretty quickly with "Use common sense. Don't do anything I didn't tell you to do. Do everything I told you to do. And uh.....don't suck."


Top of the show went quite well. The cast hit their cues, the songs sounded good, the dances looked good.

The Hot Box Dancers looked particularly fabulous. Their number is a very tight and polished dancer number. They all come out as "Farmerettes" in short red checkered aprons and their hair in perfectly curled pigtails. I think they look adorable. Apparently a few people in the audience thought they looked sexy, because we were getting whistles and catcalls. Umm....folks, they're 12?

However, we suspect the main culprit was the male audience member who may have had something other than Mountain Dew at the concession stand. After his daughter had done her number, he yelled out "WAY TO GO XXXXX!". Funny, even in the dark, I could see his daughter's face go four shades of red.

The same father was taking a picture of everything and anything. We often get parents taking forbidden flash photography of the cast in big numbers. However, this guy was taking pictures of EVERYTHING. Every time the set went to blackout, we'd see his flash go off. Oh, I will be sure to get a copy of THOSE fabulous photos. Another parent said the guy had even taken a picture of the seats and the stage with the curtain across. We figure he must be really into scrapbooking.


Shortly afterwards, we had the scene change from hell. We have large set pieces called "trucks", which are 8 feet long by 4 feet wide on crappy squeaky wheels. Although the other side had apparently found a good way for a quick set change, my side of the stage crew decided to make things difficult. We like a challenge.

So, with the scene change music being continuously looped as a reminder of how long we were taking, we fought each other to push this thing on, spin it around on a stuck wheel (the only wheel that wasn't making horrendous amounts of noise), all while the audience I'm sure was giggling at the ineptitude. Shut up and just enjoy the scene change music, ok?

So then we get to the big full on lip kiss. Strangely enough, when the leads first did it in front of the cast, there was very little reaction. I was surprised, but proud at their professionalism. Their parents made up for it though. My goodness was there a lot of hootin' and hollerin' from the audience for the "big kiss". Maybe they had just built up a lot of sexual tension?

So, we get to intermission and we're feeling pretty good about the show. Small glitches, but nothing out of the ordinary. I'm happy, the kids are happy, time for Coke (the beverage, I'm not yet THAT stressed).

After intermission is when all hell broke loose. Adelaide is sitting at the table, waiting for the music for her second song to start. And she sits. And sits. Orders another drink. Checks the score in the hockey game. Excuses herself to go to the ladies' room and powder her nose. Sits some more. Then finally realizes that the music ain't coming on and starts to sing her song a cappella.

Meanwhile, all I hear is a steady stream of swearing coming over the headset from the tech booth. The CD player has died.

We go through one more a cappella song, and my tech director basically hyperventilating in the tech booth as he ran around to fix it. When it came back on, I hear "I feel faint", and then one of the students says that the tech director is on the floor of the booth (who knew the show was actually behind the audience?).

Thank goodness the song came on before the next big number. The two girls who sang on their own have good pitch and sounded beautiful. Beautiful would be the LAST word I'd use to describe the upcoming song being sung without music, so someone was looking out for us.

Someone was apparently NOT looking out for the girl who missed her cue yesterday. We had the mission scene all set up. I'm thrilled because it was a very fast set change, and everyone's in place. Or so I thought. The lights go on and nothing happens. I quickly scan for the girl who has a throw-away line to begin the show, and don't see her. Uncomfortable silence. I start gesturing wildly for SOMEONE to say the line, or just move on with the scene. Over on the other side of the stage, my stage manager is making much the same gestures. After about 30 seconds of the fun game of "idiot charades", someone finally clues in and just says the line. Unfortunately, she was the one who was supposed to REPLY to that line as well. She did a decent job of not looking like she was having a conversation with herself.

So, the kids had fun, and they were pumped and happy. Well, except for the one girl who had to sing a cappella. Her self esteem needs a little work, and although she did a beautiful job, and in reality, made a boring song more interesting, went backstage and bawled.

And in other news, our Stage Left Set Crew student broke up with his girlfriend in the cast yesterday, and by last night at 8:30 was "dating" another cast member. Ahhh, the Young and the Chestless.

Of course, after almost two hours of complete panic and high-level stress, most of the adult crew looked like we had been hit by a Mac truck. Or, at least a stage truck with crappy wheels.

So, we're sitting in the theatre, trashed and disappointed that it wasn't closer to our vision. Then I see a kid come out of the dressing room, see her mom, who gives her a large bouquet of flowers, a huge hug and says "That was so great. I'm SO proud of you."

And that? Is why we continue to put ourselves through this.

Well, that an the copious amounts of alcohol we're going to consume after tonight's show.