You thought kids were bad?

Ok, so my blog readers will know some of the difficulties I've had choreographing kids.

Well, kids are a walk in the park compared to my newest challenge: old men.

I'm currently choreographing a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta. For those of you who aren't "in the know" (read: have a real life), G&S were a composer/lyricist team from the late 19th century...yeah, I know, I'm bored already too. You may be familiar with their musicals Pirates of Penzance, or The Mikado.

G&S Societies are to be found anywhere where there's a strong population of old people. Not necessarily just to be in the cast, because our youngest cast member is about 20, but because of audience requirements. Let's just say it's not a hot item at Ticketmaster for the younger set.

A lot of "afficianados" know tons of the songs from the duo's 15 or so major works. The societies rotate performances of those same 15 shows, and people eat this shit up.

But, I digress. I've actually found myself enjoying choreographing it quite a bit, because the music is very interesting and intricate and fun.

What's NOT fun? Senility. The big show-stopper number in this show is all the men (dressed as "peers/members of parliament"). There is no real "dancing" per se, just intricate movement and patterns, emphasized with flourishing red and white capes. Kinda like this:




Now, granted, the song they're singing at the same time is difficult and rather repetitive, but I am at my wits' end trying to get these guys to move in a fashion which can be described as anything other than "random".

In particular, there is one older gentleman, who I believe fought in the civil war. Let's try to put this in perspective and create a visual, shall we? Because the capes are still being sewn and cost an arm and a leg each, the men are practising with a variety of homemade capes, including, but not limited to:

a dracula Halloween cape
a bedsheet
a velour blanket with a large Golden Retriever on it
an assortment of table cloths
Grandma's frilly pink curtains

Got that visual? Good, moving on.

Now, picture all these men in assorted costumes wandering in the wrong general direction, yet purposefully about the stage. Most of these men have been on stage before, and even if they have no clue where they're supposed to be, keep singing and giving off the appearance that they're not escapees from a ward.

Save for one. We'll call him Eddie. That said, I don't really need to give him a fake name, because the chances of him stumbling across a blog on that new fangled "hinternet" thing is pretty low.

When Eddie gets confused (which is more often than not), he doesn't attempt to make a choice and find a position. He stands there, like a lost boy, in the middle of chaos, oblivious to everyone moving around him. Ha, I can't believe I found this picture....the kid is even wearing a cape:




When she's available, I have my dance captain stand in, and literally push him in the direction he needs to be going. I'm wondering if I could have her hiding under his cape for the show.

I think I need another rule:

-If you can't remember what year it is, you probably can't remember choreography. Perhaps the stage is not the best place for you.


Stay tuned on how this one turns out.