American Idol Syndrome

So, tonight is the start of yet another American Idol. We've seen its effects on people all across the country and the world.

However, the way it has most affected my little world, is a little something I call "American Idol Syndrome."

Next week, I will be watching the auditions of about 60 kids for our middle school musical, Guys & Dolls. Some of these kids are very talented. Some are so very very not.

Yet, I would say 90% of them think they have a bona fide shot at getting a lead role. Take last year for example. We auditioned for Annie. About 20 girls auditioned for the part of Annie, and another 30 auditioned for one of the lead orphans.

TWO of the girls who auditioned for Annie were seriously considered, maybe five of them were decent, and the others blew goats.

Now, I'm not talking about regular suckiness here. Some of these kids are William Hung (she bangs, she bangs!) bad. I always say that I value commitment and dedication over talent, but yikes kids. Reality check.

If, during your audition, you:

a) Can't quite hit all the notes in the song, so just leave out the ones you can't sing

b) Make a noise that sounds like the last of the air being squashed out of an accordion

c) See Mrs M. (that's me!) tapping out the beat for you because you're on the third verse already and the music is still on the first

or

d) See the entire audition panel's eyes fill with tears and it looks suspiciously like they're biting the inside of their cheeks


YOU SHOULD NOT BE AUDITIONING FOR A LEAD ROLE.

It's called chorus. Look into it.

Should I blame this phenomenon on the parents who see no faults with their angels? With a school system that doesn't allow cuts to be made, and thus maybe encoruages mediocrity?

Nope. I blame it on this bitch.



"Gee, although that made my ears bleed, I think if you just go and practice some more, you could totally be the next Mariah Carey."






Stay tuned for audition updates. This week I have a constant parade of kids coming up to me saying "Mrs M, what part do you think I should audition for?" And apparently it is NOT good for a child's self esteem if you say "back row of the chorus" or "I could see you as a tree."